Good reminder: Motherhood is Application

15 05 2012

This is an old post by Rachel Jankovic from the Desiring God website, but lately I’ve been feeling very defeated as a Mom – having more outbursts at Littlelam cos she’s acting up like a teenager tho she’s only 5+. Guess this article was a very good reminder to me. May it bless you too:

Motherhood is Application by Rachel Jankovic|August 25, 2011

If I had to pick one word to describe motherhood, I think that word would be “transforming.”

The days of a busy mother are made up of millions of transformations. Dirty children become clean, the hungry child fed, the tired child sleeping. Almost every task a mother performs in the course of a normal day could be considered a transformation. Disorder to order, dirty clothes to clean, unhappy children to peaceful, empty fridge to full. Every day we fight against disorder, filth, starvation, and lawlessness, and some days we might almost succeed. And then, while we sleep, everything unravels and we start again in the morning — transforming.

Days of these little cycles add up and suddenly you see a big transformation. A nursing infant has become a boy on a bicycle, a baby bump has grown into a toddler, and children have been changed into brothers and sisters.

Then there is the kind of transformations that we do — not because we work at it, but because we were created to do it. You eat your lunch, and your body transforms it into nourishment for a baby. Taking something too big for an infant, and still finding a way to feed them with it — with the goal of growing them up to do it themselves.

Pregnancy and nursing are only a small part of a child’s life though — and this cycle is clearly not only a physical one. It is the spiritual cycle of food that is so much more important, and so much less talked about. Christian mothering is a constant cycle of nourishment — both physical and spiritual.

We Apply What We Believe

In the same way we take the food we eat and make it into something the baby can eat   (and our bodies simply do this without us willing them to), so we take what we believe about God and the gospel and faith and life, and we apply it in the places that seem too little for it.

Imagine yourself in your kitchen trying to make dinner for a group of little kids who are tired and should have eaten a half hour ago. Imagine that things are going wrong beyond that — maybe you are out of something you assumed you had, children are fussing with one another, and maybe your littlest is still at the age where they come stand on your feet and pull on your pant leg. Bonus points if you are wearing maternity pants and this little person is actually capable of pulling your pants down. You are hot, you are tired, and you are sick of it.

This is no time for a gospel presentation. There isn’t time. There isn’t anyone to lead the discussion around the felt board, because you are still scrambling to figure out dinner. This isn’t a time for a gospel presentation because it is a time for gospel application. This is a time to take the grace that God has extended to you, and feed your children with it. Apply what you believe about God’s mercy and kindness and long suffering towards us, and pour it out to them — in a form they can believe in. Unrest like this is just like a baby crying for a bottle — only what they need is spiritual milk. They need you to feed them, not with a lecture, but with application.

You Have Everything You Need

Mothering is a job that is full of difficult moments. Diapers blow out in stores when you have too much in your cart to just walk out. Sudden carsickness can leave you pulled over on the side of the road wondering just how much can be done with half a bag of wet wipes. You need to take what you believe and apply it to these difficult moments. Does the Bible teach us that God is disgusted by our frailty? That he doesn’t want to carry our burdens? That he doesn’t have the energy to deal with us?

The good news is, you don’t need to have been through some elite mother’s training camp to apply the gospel in your life. You need to believe. Trust God, give thanks. Laugh. Believe — and that will feed your children. Rest in God, and your children will learn to. Extend God’s kindness to you, to them. Forgive them the way God forgave you. You have everything you need to spiritually nourish your children, because you have Christ.

The gospel is not just something to talk about Sunday morning while you are in clean clothes and the kids are looking orderly. It is not limited to quiet times and reflective moods. It is something to apply while you are in a difficult position in the back of the car trying to buckle a child up who is playing the kazoo and needs their nose wiped.

God is not above these moments. He is teaching us, and leading us, and refining us, in them. He wants to see our faith in action. He wants to see us feeding our children with the grace that he has given to us.

Mimic the Gospel

Of course, this side of heaven we will not do perfectly. Harsh words will be spoken, patience will wear thin. Frazzled mothers will act frazzled. And when this happens, our own sinfulness does not detract from the power of the gospel, it illustrates why we need it. Do not use your own mistakes as an excuse to wallow about what a bad mother you are. Repent, seek forgiveness, get it right, and move on. Believe. Be forgiven. Extend that forgiveness, that belief, that joy, to your children.

As you go about your daily transformations, set your heart on the truth. Mimic the gospel in what you do. Bring peace, bring order, bring joy, bring laughter. Bring it because it was brought to you. Give, because it was given to you. The gospel is not too big to fit into little situations. It is too big not to.





Thankful Thursdays #3

20 01 2012

This week I’ve got a big thing to be thankful for, and also heaps of other small things! Praise the Lord for an abundant life :)

So this special thursday, a few days shy of Chinese New Year, I’m thankful that:

1) The renovations at my new place are largely completed! And I’m really loving how it looks (with some limitations of course)

2) we managed to self-transport 3 large George Nelson Bubble Lights from 2 different locations, & somehow managed to install them right (hopefully!) I so love the look. (this will be a separate post in itself, and I’ll do so when I’ve got the time to upload the pictures)

3) I managed to go for a date with the hubby and actually spent more than 2 hrs together having 2 proper meals in restaurants & not having to struggle with feeding a kid

4) I got to eat the Foster’s English Rose Cafe’s afternoon tea set which I have been craving for since last year! Mmmm scones!

5) we own a car. I don’t know how I could have done so many things in such a short time frame without one. Not to mention the convenience it gives when bringing out the kids. With the MRT system being a little unreliable lately, having a car is such a blessing!

6) despite falling ill, and losing my voice, I did not spread the virus to my girls! So thankful that they are well.

7) I am always surrounded by family. Though sometimes I gripe about never ever being alone, but I realise it is a blessing to be bothered (oops, loved I mean)! ;p

8) we have air-conditioning. Seriously, the weather has changed dramatically this month! From our cool windy and rainy days in Dec, now we face the sweltering over-30 deg celsius days and 99% humidity . So glad I can still afford to pay the electrical bills of aircon usage!

9) Making some progress in learning to hold my tongue and not react, but give some time to think and cool off before deciding what to do. Grateful that I managed to see some benefits of waiting before reacting.

10) LittlerLam is now walking so quickly and steadily!

20120120-122153.jpg

20120120-122255.jpg

20120120-122432.jpg





Tea for one

18 01 2012

I’ve been silent on this blog, and literally for the past week because I came down with a nasty cold that developed into a full-blown flu. For the past few days now, I’ve been croaking, whispering and speaking now with a rather raspy voice cos of my bad cough and sore throat. I’m particularly bummed about being ill at this time because we are days away from Lunar New Year. And for many of us in Singapore, that means a time to dig in to a whole lot of yummy biscuits, cookies, Bakkwa, mandarin oranges and big family feasts. But because everything is generally “heaty” as we Chinese believe (the body is a balance of yin and yang, heat and cold etc..), people who are having sore throats are already very heaty and banned from eating the goodies. Or rather, eat and suffer the consequences!

But this post is not supposed to be about what I cannot eat, but a good eat that I discovered. Or rather a good drink. Because of the state of my throat , and also my emotions/thoughts yesterday, I decided to take a time out for myself. Just to eat lunch in a nice place alone, and read my bible and attempt to journal. It was all by accident that I ended up at Relish (an up-class burger cafe) at Cluny Court. I ordered a yummy Blue Cheese and William Pear burger and polished it off (scaring some people I think) and the waitress recommended me a Gryphon Lemon Ginger Mint tea when I croaked my order to her! That was a fantastic tip because I totally fell in love with that tea! Somehow it managed to warm me (the aircon was really cold there), and yet perk me up and soothe my throat at the same time. The smell was also divine. This definitely makes it to my list of top teas, which I must blog about one day :)

20120118-120611.jpg





Thankful Thursdays #2

12 01 2012

So here I am again, facing a rather challenging Thursday, yet having to reflect on thanksgiving. At first it seems hard– I have been feverish, sneezing non-stop, having a sore throat and trying, in all that not to get baby LittlerLam infected with the virus– but then I realize I still have so many things to thank God for! So here goes:

I’m thankful that:
- hubby came home early ie: before 8pm today to rescue me from collapsing from exhaustion and illness!
- My fever is down
- school has started for Littlelam
- I don’t have to juggle my work and kids at this stage of life (since I’ve stopped my regular work-at-home job and am employed now solely by my kids to pick up after them)
- my parents are not very elderly & are very mobile and I don’t really have to look after them!
- my girls are playing together well now (ok, most of the time anyway)
- I’ve realized how while having two kids is double the trouble, it’s double the fun as well!

I realize I probably don’t say it enough ( or at all!!) but I love my girls so very much! Thank You Lord for this blessing.

20120112-092528.jpg





Thankful Thursdays #1

5 01 2012

Ok so I’m not exactly in the mood right now to be thankful. But, I made a commitment, and what better way to ease myself out of this foul mood than to take a step back, breathe and start counting my blessings!

Over the past week, I’m thankful that:

- LittlerLam is getting more and more steady at walking and is a joy to watch
- LittlerLam is calling me “mama” with the most endearing tone, and coming to hug me
- I got to meet up with some wiser, more mature church friends who blessed us with a wonderful home-cooked dinner
- my mother-in-law came by this morning with McDonald’s hotcakes and chwee kway (not from McD!!) for breakfast
- I managed to get a gelish pedicure, plus a facial within the past week! Woah! Much good me- pampering
- renovations are progressing along and I feel I can trust my contractor

I think there are lots more but for now, this is good :) and the source of my initial frustration is now asleep, so writing this WAS a good idea. Me likey.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!





Love in unexpected places

5 01 2012

Today as I was supervising the renovation & construction works that were underway in my new place, I was given a surprise. A good one, thankfully, and not the horrid ones that usually come with dealing with contractors.

Up on my new feature brick wall, was a white brick, and on that brick was a clear heart shape! I knew that the wall guy couldn’t possibly have carved it in, because it was a random part of a pre-fabricated brick. When I saw it, I felt a sense of assurance from God, that indeed He is there. Even through this grueling renovation process. Even through our doubts and fears regarding this apartment. And even when we eventually move in. I am not one who is easily caught up in signs and wonders and I am very careful of ending up falling prey to New Age beliefs, but as I prayed, I believe it is just a beautiful reminder of His love for us. (And my devotion material today also happened to be on love!)

I was also reminded that there is indeed beauty everywhere, even in this fallen and depraved world. We just need to pay attention.

“…but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” – Joshua 24:15

20120105-125022.jpg
“Unless the Lord builds the house, They labour in vain who build it.” – Psalm 127:1





Hello 2012!

2 01 2012

So this is my first blogpost for 2012!

The past 2 days of 2012 have been extremely hectic, yet blessed with the fellowship of many good friends, new and old.

On New Year’s day I met up with my ‘blog friends’ (I really did get to know some of them via livejournal!) and chilled out over great food and conversation. And a little movie watching thrown in because Starhub was giving all subscribers free access to all its cable channels just till today. I think that was a very nice gesture (even though most would consider it a clever marketing tactic).

Today the partying continued, with my Cg meeting at my place for a time of reflection, thanksgiving, food (again) and er, mayhem. The tea party started at 3pm and somehow became a dinner party and the kids played so much they cried when it was time to go home at 9pm! And this is a day before the first day of the new school year!

So though I am exhausted, I am thankful. Which is also hopefully going to be the theme of this blog for this year. A friend of mine told me about The Happiness Project, a book by Gretchen Rubin and I was inspired to start my own little project for this year. I’ve decided to start small and work on something that is not too ambitious, but largely good for my soul and spirit.

I’ve decided to embark on a ‘Thankfulness Project’, where I shall endeavor to look for the silver lining in every situation, and make a concrete effort to blog about things I am thankful for each week. ‘Thankful Thursdays’ will be my aim :) do hold me accountable to this if you can! Drop me a comment if I somehow stop posting!

20120102-115329.jpg





Thoughtful New Year’s Eve

31 12 2011

As many of my friends and the people around my block ring in the New Year at some exciting nightspot or party with friends I sit by Littlelam’s bed still waiting for her to fall asleep. I’m feeling rather pensive & a little melancholic even as I am still humming a lullaby by auto-memory and type this on my iPod touch.

Everyone has blogged about the year gone past and most of my pals have had a good year. I must say that my year improved a little towards the end, but I would consider 2011 to be my year of upheaval, trial and testing. But I am thankful that God is putting me through the refiners fire now, rather than later when it is too late.

When I think of 2011, I think of 3 keywords: Brokenness, Helplessness, wordlessness.

1) I’m learning a lot about Brokenness this year and it’s still an ongoing lesson and aspiration of mine. Brokenness to me is the realisation of one’s utter wretchedness and inability to cope without God, and then sinking in utter surrender into the arms of Jesus the Saviour. For me, it was the culmination of a critical mass of trials that hit me together and in rapid succession that broke the camel’s back. And this very stubborn camel still attempts to walk on her own! I pray that in 2012, I will continue to walk in brokenness yet in joy and wholeness in Christ.

2) Helplessness isn’t a state that most people would want to be in. But I felt for about 85% of 2011, that I was so helpless and not in control of so many things. My daily schedule was dictated by kids’ needs, I hardly had any me time and so many decisions I would like to have made on my own, quickly, couldn’t be done. Instead, I had to wait for months for the issues to be mulled over, discussed and re- discussed and mulled again. And our family was buffeted by many bouts of flu, stomach flu, bacterial infections etc. So once again, I felt helpless against these sicknesses. I pray that in 2012, we will have better health, eat healthier & sleep earlier. More importantly, that I will not feel helpless but that I am WILLINGLY giving up my will and control to God. That I will trust that He has the best in plan for me, if only I listen to Him.

3) Wordlessness- this mainly refers to the fact that I stopped all my freelance writing, and have become a real full-time mom with no other day job other than poop-cleaner, crumb-picker, nose-blower, butt-patter, chef, banker, designer, teacher, driver, janitor and police at home! I have also been left speechless several times at the rudeness and audacity of Littlelam’s replies to me when she is in a rebellious mood/ situation. She can truly argue her way so well that sometime I am either too shocked to reply and have to just tend to the task at hand and deal with it later, or I am too hurt and angry that I have to walk away, and get her Daddy to talk to her. Words also have been the bane of my life this year (ok, not counting sleep issues- that’s probably the top bane): I either speak the wrong ones at the wrong time or interpret others words wrongly and become too sensitive and defensive. I must learn to reign in my tongue and also learn to listen better in 2012!

On this last day of 2011, I also realized again how much I’m actually with my kids. I don’t know if it is a good thing because my stress level has been very high having to cope with the constant, never-ending cooking, feeding, cleaning and meeting everyone’s demands. I feel like everybody wants a piece of me and I don’t ever get to just be ME. alone. I so crave and want that for 2012.

I also have a question to anyone who is a kid and reading this (or whoever wants to reply, pls do!!): Do you think you prefer your own mum and dad to look after you most of the time, or someone else? I’m just not sure anymore that it is better for me to continue to be a stay-home-mum, since almost everyone I know has so much alternative caregiving help and they all seem to be enjoying life. And more importantly their kids seem to be doing so well. So maybe it’s better rather than having a perpetually stressed out and yelling mum! Haha!

For 2012, I’m still working on my resolutions, but I reckon it’ll be much like what I just wrote.

Looking forward to several new things happening though. I do feel a change in the wind.
- I’m going to be moving to a different part of Singapore
- Littlelam will be changing to a new Kindergarten and leaving her close friends
- on the spiritual front I also feel there is change afoot… Exciting times of battle and growth I hope!

Here’s to a fabulous 2012, everyone!

20120101-121043.jpg





Christmas Humility

25 12 2011

I was rather struck by this devotion just just came in my email, from AboveRubies.

As we all celebrate Christmas with partying, presents and food, may we remember the true meaning of Christmas.

Blessed Christmas everyone!

———————————–
THE HUMILITY OF GOD

“Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: but made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: and being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedience unto death, even the death of the cross.”
(Philippians 2:6-8).

What is Christmas today? Christmas trees, decorations, lights, tinsel, parties, Santa Claus, and an over abundance of food. Total antipathy to the very first Christmas!

The first Christmas was celebrated in poverty. Today, if a couple were so poor that they had to have their baby in a dirty animal stable, the Social Services would take their baby away from them. But 2000 years down the line, it seems that the humility of Christmas has been forgotten.

I think it would be good to remind ourselves of the true reality of Christmas, don’t you?
1. The humility of Mary

Mary was a humble maiden with a humble lineage. She was not a royal princess. She was not a High Priest’s daughter. She was not rich. Mary herself confesses in her song, “He hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden… He hath put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree…”(Luke 1:48-49). But God chose this unknown virgin to bring forth His precious Son. He chose her because she was a willing vessel. Often those who have everything materially, are not willing vessels.

God is not looking for riches and material possessions. He is looking for women with obedient hearts–mothers who will welcome to their hearts the children whom God has planned to send them. He is looking for those who have the same spirit Mary had when she said, “Be it unto me according to thy Word” (Luke 1:38). She was totally surrendered to the will of the Lord. In the face of poverty, ridicule, rejection and estrangement, she embraced this child who would be the Savior of the world.

I will never forget going to the famous art gallery in London and seeing a painting of Mary. It was such an anointed picture. The artist captured the look of total submission and abandonment to the will of God upon her face. It was amazing. I looked and looked at it for hours. The caption was, “Be it unto me according to thy Word.”
2. The humility of Joseph

Joseph was a humble carpenter from a humble village. Do you remember that Nathanael said of Jesus, “Can there any good thing come out of Nazareth?” (John 1:46). Jesus was spurned by his fellow residents of Nazareth who asked, “Is not this the carpenter’s son?” (Matthew 13:55).
3. The humility of His birthplace

Jesus was born in a stable, most probably a cave, with the dirt, the smells and messes of the animals all around. He was then laid in a stone feeding trough, fit only for the animals. Jesus was born to be King, but God didn’t provide a palace for His Son in which to be born. He didn’t provide a doctor, nurses and hospital. There was no cradle, beautifully draped with lace and frills. Only straw! Was there even that? No Christmas card paints the true reality of the scene.

If this was the beginning of the Son of God, why do we, the sons and daughters of God, expect that we should have all the niceties of life? Of course, if God blesses us with them, we will receive them with joy, but should we expect them?

Everything surrounding the birth of Jesus was humble. It is interesting that in the body of Christ we have the “Faith movement” and the “Discipleship movement” and so on. But has anyone ever heard of the “Humility movement”? We don’t take to this so well, do we? And yet this is how God planned for His beloved Son to be born. And this is how he lived His life. Shouldn’t humility also be the hallmark of our Christian experience?

I think that God revealed His heart in the place He chose for His son to be born-the lowliest and humblest place possible. God loves the poor. He promises to raise up the poor. He watches over them. Even in the birth of His son, He related to the poorest of the poor.

It is also amazing to think that God chose to bring forth His beloved Son through the process of birth. He could have sent him down from Heaven on a chariot of fire! He could have sent a legion of angels to escort Him from the majesty of heaven. But no! He chose for His Son to be conceived and nurtured in a womb, to be born of a woman, the way that God planned for all human life to come into this world.

Surely this raises birth to a high estate. What a privilege to give birth and give life to children, the very same way that Jesus came into the world? How blessed we are as women.
4. The humility of Jesus’ dedication

After the days of a mother’s purification, the parents took the baby to the temple to be dedicated. They had to bring a lamb to be sacrificed for the dedication.
However, if they could not afford a lamb, they brought two turtle doves or young pigeons (Leviticus 12:6-8).

The account in Luke 2:23-24 tells us that Joseph and Mary brought doves or pigeons. They belonged to the poor class. They couldn’t afford to bring a lamb. And yet God chose from the poorer class to bring forth the King of kings and Lord of lords.

We don’t have to own our own home and have all the modern conveniences before we are ready to have a baby. All we have to have is willing and welcome hearts. God will always provide for the children He sends. The poor who have children are richer than the wealthy who reject children.

May God pour out His Spirit upon you at this very special season as you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah together as a family. May God keep all our hearts focused on the humility of His birth, rather than tinsel and toys.

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL
www.aboverubies.org

PRAYER:

“Dear Lord Jesus, Thank you for leaving the glory of heaven to come to this earth. Thank you for humbling yourself to become a little baby. Thank you for being humiliated for me. Thank you that you came to die for my sin. How can I ever thank you adequately? With all my being I worship and love you. Amen.”

QUOTE:

Zechariah 9:9 NAS, “Behold your king is coming to you; He is just and endowed with salvation, humble, and mounted on a donkey, even on a colt, the foal of a donkey”

20111225-125042.jpg





Life is precious…so are children

8 11 2011

Over the past 5 days Littlelam and I have been praying continuously for her cousin Elizabeth, who was born with 22q11.2 deletion syndrome, a rare chromosome defect also known as DiGeorges Syndrome. The both of them are born just 3 weeks apart and enjoy playing together despite the fact that we live quite far away and also don’t get to see them much.

Last Friday, 4 November, Lizzie underwent Major Corrective Heart surgery – an operation to correct the complex congenital heart defects she was born with. Mainly cos the chromosome defect resulted in calcium deficiency and severe cyanotic congenital heart defects called Taussig-Bing anomaly (ventricular septal defect and double outlet right ventricle with pulmonary
artery atresia
). I’m no medical person, so it is a little hard to take in, and even harder to explain to your own 5yo why her cousin has to be in hospital for so long and have an operation on the heart!

So far her progess has been good, after a 9-hr surgery and chest being left OPEN for a few days for the swelling to subside. Hearing my dear cousin describing how she could see her daughter’s beating heart through a piece of plastic really made me a mess of emotions too. And so far no visitors allowed, obviously. This is still the critical period so thank you my close friends for also keeping her in prayer.

Lizzie’s blog is http://blog4lizzie.blogspot.com/ if you would like to read more details and updates.

We love you and are praying for you, Lizzie!

Lizzie and Littlelam enjoying the beach! Hope we can do this again soon!

But why I’ve entitled this post as such, is because like so many other mums of kids who don’t have to suffer major medical battles, I sometimes take my own childrens’ boundless energy, constant noise and endless questions for granted. Yes, not even reaching the point of getting irritated at them…but we so easily forget how life is so fragile and indeed, every breath is a blessing from God.

I get so mad at Littlelam sometimes because she refuses to practice her violin and threatens to throw it on the ground, but I realise I’m just pushing her to be as good as her classmate who practices 1 hour a day. Sometimes we lose focus of what’s important in life, and it takes really special kids like Lizzie to remind us how precious life is. How brave and strong some people can be in the face of adversity, can put many of us to shame.

Now I find myself enjoying Littlerlam’s baby stage more…savouring her baby-ness, because I don’t know if I will have another child. I’m not even rushing to wean her off the milk bottle even though she’s already 1 year old, because I enjoy spending the time feeding her and watching her fall asleep in my arms. I recall the times when it was so impossible to even get her to put the bottle teat in her mouth and the endless hours of screaming and I am thankful for the picture of bliss I see now as I feed her.

Remembering and reminding myself to be thankful for life and for my children.








Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 35 other followers