Quality time with #1

16 05 2012

When Littlelam starts acting up more than usual & asking ‘do you love me’? I know i’ve been neglecting filling up her love tank in the way she understands. I recently read ‘Five Love Languages of Children’ by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell and it gave me a lot of insight into the way my kids behave. I’ve also discovered that one of Littlelam’s Primary love languages is Quality Time. So I’ve now tried to schedule in a fixed time each week where I can just spend one-on-one time with her doing something fun. And I see the change in her willingness to learn, accept discipline and general mood when I speak her love language.

Today I gave her a choice between going out for tea and shopping with me, or going home to bake. She chose the latter, so we decided to make one of her favorite things- scones. She didn’t want me to put in the sultanas that the recipe required, so we substituted with chocolate chips instead! Oops so much for being healthy!

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They turned out yummy, even though some were rather, erm, uniquely-shaped, mainly because I don’t have a round cutter, so I let Littlelam use cookie-cutters, which are invariably too small for normal scones, and in non-scone shapes like hearts and Christmas trees, heh.

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Good reminder: Motherhood is Application

15 05 2012

This is an old post by Rachel Jankovic from the Desiring God website, but lately I’ve been feeling very defeated as a Mom – having more outbursts at Littlelam cos she’s acting up like a teenager tho she’s only 5+. Guess this article was a very good reminder to me. May it bless you too:

Motherhood is Application by Rachel Jankovic|August 25, 2011

If I had to pick one word to describe motherhood, I think that word would be “transforming.”

The days of a busy mother are made up of millions of transformations. Dirty children become clean, the hungry child fed, the tired child sleeping. Almost every task a mother performs in the course of a normal day could be considered a transformation. Disorder to order, dirty clothes to clean, unhappy children to peaceful, empty fridge to full. Every day we fight against disorder, filth, starvation, and lawlessness, and some days we might almost succeed. And then, while we sleep, everything unravels and we start again in the morning — transforming.

Days of these little cycles add up and suddenly you see a big transformation. A nursing infant has become a boy on a bicycle, a baby bump has grown into a toddler, and children have been changed into brothers and sisters.

Then there is the kind of transformations that we do — not because we work at it, but because we were created to do it. You eat your lunch, and your body transforms it into nourishment for a baby. Taking something too big for an infant, and still finding a way to feed them with it — with the goal of growing them up to do it themselves.

Pregnancy and nursing are only a small part of a child’s life though — and this cycle is clearly not only a physical one. It is the spiritual cycle of food that is so much more important, and so much less talked about. Christian mothering is a constant cycle of nourishment — both physical and spiritual.

We Apply What We Believe

In the same way we take the food we eat and make it into something the baby can eat   (and our bodies simply do this without us willing them to), so we take what we believe about God and the gospel and faith and life, and we apply it in the places that seem too little for it.

Imagine yourself in your kitchen trying to make dinner for a group of little kids who are tired and should have eaten a half hour ago. Imagine that things are going wrong beyond that — maybe you are out of something you assumed you had, children are fussing with one another, and maybe your littlest is still at the age where they come stand on your feet and pull on your pant leg. Bonus points if you are wearing maternity pants and this little person is actually capable of pulling your pants down. You are hot, you are tired, and you are sick of it.

This is no time for a gospel presentation. There isn’t time. There isn’t anyone to lead the discussion around the felt board, because you are still scrambling to figure out dinner. This isn’t a time for a gospel presentation because it is a time for gospel application. This is a time to take the grace that God has extended to you, and feed your children with it. Apply what you believe about God’s mercy and kindness and long suffering towards us, and pour it out to them — in a form they can believe in. Unrest like this is just like a baby crying for a bottle — only what they need is spiritual milk. They need you to feed them, not with a lecture, but with application.

You Have Everything You Need

Mothering is a job that is full of difficult moments. Diapers blow out in stores when you have too much in your cart to just walk out. Sudden carsickness can leave you pulled over on the side of the road wondering just how much can be done with half a bag of wet wipes. You need to take what you believe and apply it to these difficult moments. Does the Bible teach us that God is disgusted by our frailty? That he doesn’t want to carry our burdens? That he doesn’t have the energy to deal with us?

The good news is, you don’t need to have been through some elite mother’s training camp to apply the gospel in your life. You need to believe. Trust God, give thanks. Laugh. Believe — and that will feed your children. Rest in God, and your children will learn to. Extend God’s kindness to you, to them. Forgive them the way God forgave you. You have everything you need to spiritually nourish your children, because you have Christ.

The gospel is not just something to talk about Sunday morning while you are in clean clothes and the kids are looking orderly. It is not limited to quiet times and reflective moods. It is something to apply while you are in a difficult position in the back of the car trying to buckle a child up who is playing the kazoo and needs their nose wiped.

God is not above these moments. He is teaching us, and leading us, and refining us, in them. He wants to see our faith in action. He wants to see us feeding our children with the grace that he has given to us.

Mimic the Gospel

Of course, this side of heaven we will not do perfectly. Harsh words will be spoken, patience will wear thin. Frazzled mothers will act frazzled. And when this happens, our own sinfulness does not detract from the power of the gospel, it illustrates why we need it. Do not use your own mistakes as an excuse to wallow about what a bad mother you are. Repent, seek forgiveness, get it right, and move on. Believe. Be forgiven. Extend that forgiveness, that belief, that joy, to your children.

As you go about your daily transformations, set your heart on the truth. Mimic the gospel in what you do. Bring peace, bring order, bring joy, bring laughter. Bring it because it was brought to you. Give, because it was given to you. The gospel is not too big to fit into little situations. It is too big not to.





Thoughtful New Year’s Eve

31 12 2011

As many of my friends and the people around my block ring in the New Year at some exciting nightspot or party with friends I sit by Littlelam’s bed still waiting for her to fall asleep. I’m feeling rather pensive & a little melancholic even as I am still humming a lullaby by auto-memory and type this on my iPod touch.

Everyone has blogged about the year gone past and most of my pals have had a good year. I must say that my year improved a little towards the end, but I would consider 2011 to be my year of upheaval, trial and testing. But I am thankful that God is putting me through the refiners fire now, rather than later when it is too late.

When I think of 2011, I think of 3 keywords: Brokenness, Helplessness, wordlessness.

1) I’m learning a lot about Brokenness this year and it’s still an ongoing lesson and aspiration of mine. Brokenness to me is the realisation of one’s utter wretchedness and inability to cope without God, and then sinking in utter surrender into the arms of Jesus the Saviour. For me, it was the culmination of a critical mass of trials that hit me together and in rapid succession that broke the camel’s back. And this very stubborn camel still attempts to walk on her own! I pray that in 2012, I will continue to walk in brokenness yet in joy and wholeness in Christ.

2) Helplessness isn’t a state that most people would want to be in. But I felt for about 85% of 2011, that I was so helpless and not in control of so many things. My daily schedule was dictated by kids’ needs, I hardly had any me time and so many decisions I would like to have made on my own, quickly, couldn’t be done. Instead, I had to wait for months for the issues to be mulled over, discussed and re- discussed and mulled again. And our family was buffeted by many bouts of flu, stomach flu, bacterial infections etc. So once again, I felt helpless against these sicknesses. I pray that in 2012, we will have better health, eat healthier & sleep earlier. More importantly, that I will not feel helpless but that I am WILLINGLY giving up my will and control to God. That I will trust that He has the best in plan for me, if only I listen to Him.

3) Wordlessness- this mainly refers to the fact that I stopped all my freelance writing, and have become a real full-time mom with no other day job other than poop-cleaner, crumb-picker, nose-blower, butt-patter, chef, banker, designer, teacher, driver, janitor and police at home! I have also been left speechless several times at the rudeness and audacity of Littlelam’s replies to me when she is in a rebellious mood/ situation. She can truly argue her way so well that sometime I am either too shocked to reply and have to just tend to the task at hand and deal with it later, or I am too hurt and angry that I have to walk away, and get her Daddy to talk to her. Words also have been the bane of my life this year (ok, not counting sleep issues- that’s probably the top bane): I either speak the wrong ones at the wrong time or interpret others words wrongly and become too sensitive and defensive. I must learn to reign in my tongue and also learn to listen better in 2012!

On this last day of 2011, I also realized again how much I’m actually with my kids. I don’t know if it is a good thing because my stress level has been very high having to cope with the constant, never-ending cooking, feeding, cleaning and meeting everyone’s demands. I feel like everybody wants a piece of me and I don’t ever get to just be ME. alone. I so crave and want that for 2012.

I also have a question to anyone who is a kid and reading this (or whoever wants to reply, pls do!!): Do you think you prefer your own mum and dad to look after you most of the time, or someone else? I’m just not sure anymore that it is better for me to continue to be a stay-home-mum, since almost everyone I know has so much alternative caregiving help and they all seem to be enjoying life. And more importantly their kids seem to be doing so well. So maybe it’s better rather than having a perpetually stressed out and yelling mum! Haha!

For 2012, I’m still working on my resolutions, but I reckon it’ll be much like what I just wrote.

Looking forward to several new things happening though. I do feel a change in the wind.
- I’m going to be moving to a different part of Singapore
- Littlelam will be changing to a new Kindergarten and leaving her close friends
- on the spiritual front I also feel there is change afoot… Exciting times of battle and growth I hope!

Here’s to a fabulous 2012, everyone!

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13 months and counting

14 11 2011

So at 13 months, LittlerLam is still unable to walk. But that’s ok, Littlelam only did so at 15 months, so I’m in no big worry or rush. But I’m wondering why people keep asking whether she can walk… oh well, I guess it’s one of those milestones, and since so many other babies are already walking at 1 year, so it seems like she is a little slow. I’m in no hurry for her to walk because I know I will have my hands full! Already I feel I need 3 more hands…and legs…

While she isn’t fully walking on her own yet, she is definitely taking steps (and then lunging at the end) towards us. And what she lacks in the walking department, she makes up with CLIMBING. Ah, what can I say about this girl. She climbs EVERYTHING. People, sofas, chairs, stools, walls (attempts to), gates, grilles, cots, and her very favourite, Littlelam’s writing table. She is always climbing. Always. It’s a nightmare, and it’s super tiring, but it is quite cute.

She is also learning and wanting to talk more. Besides saying ‘Mama’ when she was about 8-9 months, now she’s pointing at a picture/stuff toy bear and saying very clearly, “Bear”. She can also identify and say ‘Star’, but it sounds more like ‘Tar’ 80% of the time.  Thanks to Dr Titzer of Your Baby Can Read fame, LittlerLam can also read ‘Clap’, ‘Foot’ and ‘Wave’, because she does the actions when the words appear, but before the audio comes on. She STILL doesn’t really take to books tho. Except for flipping, pointing at, shaking and throwing around. I’m still trying to find a way to engage her more in terms of literature!

She is very musical though. Her favourite is her Chinese Karaoke DVD for kids and she was smile and sway along to the music when it comes on. She will laugh and bob her little bum when I sing the songs to her in Mandarin as well. A good sign. This one seems to like speaking/ listening to Mandarin quite a fair bit! She will also clap spontaneously when her big sister has finished playing a song on the violin, and bang enthusiastically on the piano keyboard herself when we sit her on our laps. Any music, in effect, will cause her to sway and bounce in rhythm.

She is also easy to police in terms of putting objects in her mouth. Because she just DOESN’T. I can quite safely leave her big sister’s tiny toys around and she will just pincer grip them, turn them around, look at them and hurl them, but she will never put them in the mouth…except maybe as the LAST experiment. So in a strange way, I have trouble getting her to eat her finger foods. She still won’t self-feed Cheerios, Apple Puffs or pieces of bread, but will heartily eat up her pasta, porridge, vegies and fruits when fed to her on a spoon. Oh well. At least she’s eating!

Here are some recent pictures of her:

Amused by a green chicken stuffed toy

Drawing at Changi Airport

Zonked out in the stroller on the way back from the market





Life is precious…so are children

8 11 2011

Over the past 5 days Littlelam and I have been praying continuously for her cousin Elizabeth, who was born with 22q11.2 deletion syndrome, a rare chromosome defect also known as DiGeorges Syndrome. The both of them are born just 3 weeks apart and enjoy playing together despite the fact that we live quite far away and also don’t get to see them much.

Last Friday, 4 November, Lizzie underwent Major Corrective Heart surgery – an operation to correct the complex congenital heart defects she was born with. Mainly cos the chromosome defect resulted in calcium deficiency and severe cyanotic congenital heart defects called Taussig-Bing anomaly (ventricular septal defect and double outlet right ventricle with pulmonary
artery atresia
). I’m no medical person, so it is a little hard to take in, and even harder to explain to your own 5yo why her cousin has to be in hospital for so long and have an operation on the heart!

So far her progess has been good, after a 9-hr surgery and chest being left OPEN for a few days for the swelling to subside. Hearing my dear cousin describing how she could see her daughter’s beating heart through a piece of plastic really made me a mess of emotions too. And so far no visitors allowed, obviously. This is still the critical period so thank you my close friends for also keeping her in prayer.

Lizzie’s blog is http://blog4lizzie.blogspot.com/ if you would like to read more details and updates.

We love you and are praying for you, Lizzie!

Lizzie and Littlelam enjoying the beach! Hope we can do this again soon!

But why I’ve entitled this post as such, is because like so many other mums of kids who don’t have to suffer major medical battles, I sometimes take my own childrens’ boundless energy, constant noise and endless questions for granted. Yes, not even reaching the point of getting irritated at them…but we so easily forget how life is so fragile and indeed, every breath is a blessing from God.

I get so mad at Littlelam sometimes because she refuses to practice her violin and threatens to throw it on the ground, but I realise I’m just pushing her to be as good as her classmate who practices 1 hour a day. Sometimes we lose focus of what’s important in life, and it takes really special kids like Lizzie to remind us how precious life is. How brave and strong some people can be in the face of adversity, can put many of us to shame.

Now I find myself enjoying Littlerlam’s baby stage more…savouring her baby-ness, because I don’t know if I will have another child. I’m not even rushing to wean her off the milk bottle even though she’s already 1 year old, because I enjoy spending the time feeding her and watching her fall asleep in my arms. I recall the times when it was so impossible to even get her to put the bottle teat in her mouth and the endless hours of screaming and I am thankful for the picture of bliss I see now as I feed her.

Remembering and reminding myself to be thankful for life and for my children.





Letter to my baby

13 09 2011

Let's go out!

Dearest LittlerLam,

I can’t believe that you’ll be turning one year old next month! While many other mums (especially 1st-time mums) have been chronicling, scrapbooking and writing about their babies throughout every single milestone in the first year, I have been well…rather slack. I’m sorry if you don’t have as many photographs as your older sister and that you always end up having to crawl around by yourself at home, navigating dangerous spots (caused by your big sister) all by yourself. But I’m glad that while you don’t have Daddy and Mummy’s full attention, you have an extra playmate that your big sister never had. I’m quite sure you sometimes much prefer her company than mine because your face lights up when we mention her name, you squeal excitedly when you pass her room, and cry when she goes off to Kindy. The two of you are beginning to be able to play together despite the 4 year age gap, and it’s hilarious when CheChe climbs into the playpen with you. Of course it also almost gives me a heart attack when I see the bottom straining with the combined weight!

Weight. Ah yes. That is a bit of a sensitive point when it comes to you,  my dear. Mummy has been constantly trying to get you up to an average weight since you were born and it’s been a bit of a struggle. Not because you don’t eat or drink milk much – in fact, you enjoy your rice porridge with lots of goodies like salmon, threadfin, beef, tofu, chicken, brocolli, carrots, pumpkin, sweet potato, corn, cauliflower and ikan billis powder all in different variations! Every day I’ve got to cook half a pot of porridge for you, which you happily eat up for lunch and dinner.  The last time I weighed you at the paediatrician you were 10+ months and exactly 8kg. Which is a BIG BIG improvement because this time you are only about 0.5kg away from the average weight!! I was so happy that finally you were looking more chubby and feeling heavy despite falling sick EVERY SINGLE MONTH since you were born. You are so good with taking medicine with a syringe now, and I am so thankful that you don’t usually kick up a fuss, unless it is antibiotics! I thank God that despite your constant falling sick, you are still growing well and meeting your milestones.

You grew 4 teeth around 8months old and at 7months was able to sit up by yourself. Now at 11+ months you are standing up by yourself without support for about 5 seconds now! You are an absolute joy to play with now (even though it totally kills my joints and it is soooo tiring) because you are so responsive and communicative. Also this is the classic stage where babies are the cutest (in my opinion) and this was the time when we played so much with CheChe too. You enjoy TOTALLY different things from your big sister though. While she was always sitting and reading, listening to us read and learning objects, alphabets etc, you refuse to sit quietly to watch us read to you. You must ALWAYS grab and lunge at the book and then when in possession of it, must flip it, swing it around, whack it on the floor, like you do to every other toy/ object you get a hold of. You also have a special knack for searching out the thinnest or ‘most grasp-able’ part of an object and holding it tight, then swing/whack/ shake the item to check out if it makes a sound, and what other sound it makes when hit against different surfaces. Unfortunately sometimes the surface includes my face, or your own head. You have very good psycho-motor skills and fine-motor skills, able to pick up very tiny objects from a young age and also able to sign ‘book’, wave ‘hi’, ‘bye’ and indicate ‘no more’ with the twisting of the wrists.

You are one unique one, and I believe a very tough cookie. You survive almost daily knocks to the head and falls (of course very minor ones…nothing serious) and cry for only a while before you continue trying to stand, pull, walk along by pushing CheChe’s chair. Your very favourite position is to stand at CheChe’s table and disturb her while she tries to draw/eat/ do homework!

You have so many other interesting antics I don’t have time now to write them all down, but they are stored in my memory, my dear. So please forgive me if this could be the only entry I ever write chronicling your cuteness because I’m busy cooking, cleaning, bathing, cleaning, cooking, washing for you.

Love lots, Mum

p.s: Very soon I won’t be able to post pictures of you on this blog because you will be losing the generic baby look and starting to look like a little person. So here’s a couple for now, for posterity!

Gesticulating wildly!

Watch out! Learner driver!

Inundated!





The PlayDome at National Museum

4 06 2011

Last weekend, while I spent a glorious 3 days away from the mundanity of life in a hotel with 176 other women for a retreat, my two girls were left at home with Daddy and my mother-in-law. So the resourceful hubby decided to take Littlelam out to the National Museum, Singapore where a special children’s season PlayDome was set up for the first time in Singapore, partnering with Playeum, The Play Museum. (Here I’m gonna copy from the brochure cos I didn’t go): The exploratory space consists of dedicated zones, where children get to play with props, materials and get really hands-on in creating orginail art works inspired by the collection in the museum’s Living Galleries and its iconic Dome.

Black Box - or what Littlelam called the ‘giant kaleidoscope’. It features the world premiere of The Real Thing by Jordana Maisie, courtesy of Ipswich Art Gallery (Australia).

Using fabrics to create various designs within the kaleidoscope

Changing the patterns

Spot Littlelam in the pattern!

Various interactive games:

Video screen projection

Tracing patterns on the fabric

Making masks with Daddy! Spiderman and Ninja Turtle...

Maze made of fabrics that the children could pull away to get through

Littlelam having a great time dashing through! She told me this was her favourite

There was another interactive art piece which is made up of many separate pieces of string I think! It is for the kids to help the artist to make a giant dress!

Adding string to the giant dress?

There were also some outdoor installations which involved the kids drawing their own glass art piece and inserting it into ‘telescopes’ that were set up in the small grass patch outside the museum.

Littlelam drawing her images on the glass pieces

Field of telescopes!

Looking through her creation

Littlelam told me excitedly, "I climbed up on a giant chilli, you know!"





Holidays are upon us!

1 06 2011

So this week is the start of the school holidays and the start of dealing with two kids 24hrs a day. So I’ve tried to arrange some activities for Littlelam to give her some variety to the days and also to give me some sanity, cos everyone knows, kids who stay home too long with nothing to do go a bit stir crazy.

So today I enlisted the grandparents help to go for lunch and playtime at T3 Changi Airport, which markets itself not only as a passenger terminal, but a place for locals to shop, eat and have fun (especially the kids). They were having a Playtime promo bouncy castle shaped as the iconic Changi control tower and it was almost mayhem, save for the very good management of the official child minders who only allowed kids to go in by batches and even gave them a briefing! Here are the pics:

The iconic Changi Control Tower in blow-up form!

Ready, set, GO!!! The kids being released by batches

Littlelam totally enjoying herself





Mother’s Day and too much cake!

18 05 2011

Every first weekend of May, my family suffers a major overdose of cake because there are 3 birthdays within the space of 3 days, plus mothers’s day in the middle.

Littlelam wanted to do something nice for me on top of her school made gifts, so I allowed her to have some fun at The Icing Room.

So I got a very er, creatively decorated cake, plus flowers, jelly, cards and crafts from my two girls! :) quite a nice and touching haul!

Smiling at the flowers she 'gave' me for Mother's Day!

Deep in concentration at The Icing Room

Rather scarily overdecorated cake, but hey, it's a 4.5 yo, and the thought that counts!

Work of art (and sugar overdose) up close!

The whole array of gifts from my girls :) I feel loved!





The Dreaded HFMD

17 04 2011

Things have been quiet on the blog front because poor Littlelam came down with Hand Foot Mouth Disease (HFMD) just a week after she recovered from her flu!!! And LittlerLam was still on antibiotics at the time. I literally was going to see the paed at least twice a week!!

No picture to show for it because the ulcers were mostly in her throat and mouth. Thank God it’s over! And that we quarantined her away from LittlerLam so the baby was ok!








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