Stop Comparing!

I have a bad habit of comparing myself to others and then inadvertently end up in a vicious cycle of Compare–> Complain –> become Confused. But I realise it’s a disease that afflicts so many of us SAHMs! Sheesh, you’d think that the competition would end when we left the job market, but it’s really a matter of attitude and the heart. That’s why this article that a friend shared with me from (In)Courage really encouraged me. Heh. Especially the part where she can’t sew a lick – something I can’t do either! haha! Enjoy!

Embracing Who I Am
by Lysa Terkeurst

Ten years ago I sat in a seminar listening to a very organized mom talking about how she parented her kids.

She was amazing.

A super mom in my eyes.

I held up my feeble efforts with my three toddlers and determined I stunk as a mother. I thought that maybe if I went home and imitated her, I could enter into the world of super moms.

I mentally listed out what I discerned must be her secret to success and set about to be just like her.

But it didn’t take long to become absolutely miserable. I mentally beat myself up for not having what it obviously took to be a great mom. What was wrong with me?

I begged God to make me just like her- that really good Mom.

And then one day in Bible study I read the story of Mary, the teenage mother of Jesus. My heart beat fast as I realized she didn’t meet the standard of super mom I’d set for myself.

Somehow, just as she was, God chose her to be Jesus’ mother. And the only qualification that she seemed to have was her willingness.

I made the choice to try and let go of all those expectations I had for myself as a mom. I let go of the comparisons to other moms. I laid down the measuring stick of perfection. And I simply bowed my head and gave God my willingness.

Nothing more.

Slowly, I started to see my own unique qualities as a mom instead of always focusing on the places I felt I fell so short.

I may not be the most organized mom, but I’m a fun mom willing to drop my to do list in the name of spontaneity.

I may not do sit down devotions with my kids every morning, but I’m good at helping my kids see God working in situations all throughout our days.

I may not sew a lick, but I know where to find an alterationist that is the bomb.

I may not always keep my cool in the everyday aggravations of life, but throw something big at me and somehow I’ll be the most calm person in the room.

Sure, I have a lot of room for growth in my mothering. God and I work on things daily. But over the past ten years I’ve learned how to embrace who I am and the beauty of living fully as me.

And while I still fall short at times, I’ve finally learned that being fully me is so much better than an imitation version of someone else.

I have the exact qualities God knew my kids would need in a mother. So, each day I hold up my willingness and ask God to make me the best version of me I can be.

Have you ever struggled with this? Whether it’s in the arena of motherhood or your workplace or one of the many places we unfairly compare ourselves to others- realize your great qualities and be fully you.

Motherly Devotionals – Training Children to Speak

I receive devotionals from Above Rubies in my mail, and I find them always very thought-provoking, heartfelt and challenging, and encouraging at the same time. Today’s topic was Part II of ‘Training Children to Speak”, which has very interesting tips on how to teach your children to speak well, and speak truth, and speak right.

Check it out here:

EDWJ – Every Day With Jesus

I’ve been using this devotional material series for years now – Every Day With Jesus by Selwyn Hughs was introduced to me more than 10 years ago waay back when I was in JC. I’ve been using it on and off over the years, to complement my other reading or during ‘drought’ seasons, simply reading the text and short verses. It has always helped to give me fresh perspectives and more importantly, at every season of my life the topics are amazingly apt.

This month, I’ve started using a sister-devotional (literally), and going through this with a friend of mine too – “Inspiring Women Every Day” is once again, terribly apt and timely. Last Friday’s piece really spoke to me, cos I’ve been feeling the strain of counting the cost of being a Christian and feeling weak. I’d just given Littlelam a great big shelling for refusing to eat her breakfast, then refusing to pee, then refusing her medicine, and when it was finally in her mouth, it came spilling forth like a white sticky rill, all over our going-out clothes. I totally flipped cos we were running late for an appointment too. Apparently I flipped out so loudly that the whole HDB block knew too.

What a way to fail big time, just before Mother’s Day. I’ve also been bothered by the recent issues in the news that have somehow come up with words like ‘Christian fundamentalists’. What in the world is that? To me, the word ‘fundamental’ should simply refer to the unquestionable, unalterable truths in the Bible, which is that Jesus came to earth as a man, was crucified and died on the cross for our sin, and then was resurrected, and is alive today. And if I say I love Jesus, then I must follow everything that He says, because as God, his values, his morals are also unalterably true and absolute. So if I believe in absolute truth, then that is the fundamental foundation of my faith.  In this urban age, it is easy to rationalise relativism – to choose the stuff in the Bible that is easy to swallow and believe – like blessings, grace etc.. But conveniently forget the wrathful God in the Old Testament, or the end of the grace period that is to come in Revelations. To me, you cannot be a Christian without taking up the cross too – and that means tough stuff, which I’ve been feeling is too hard to handle.

But then again, God’s call is for me to “Be Strong”. Not in my own strength, but in His.

“…be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.” – 2 Timothy 2:1-2

Here’s an excerpt of the devotional (by Beryl Adamsbaum)
How would you feel if, conscious of your own weakness, you were told to ‘be strong’? Strength is not something you can drum up. We have already referred to the fact that Timothy is weak and timid. Now Paul is telling him to ‘be strong’. However, he is not telling him to be strong in himself. He is to ‘be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus’. That makes all the difference! With God’s help, Timothy is to make a firm stand and faithfully proclaim God’s Word in the midst of what sounds like widespread apostasy. It’s very tempting, in the face of oppostion, to water down the gospel and distort the truth in order to make it more palatable. It is in the midst of such confusion and rejection of God’s Word that TImothy is to persist in teaching sound doctrine and make a stand for the truth.